la bella vita♥

Crazy how much.

I think its crazy how many times I thought of taking my life today
I think its crazy how fast time goes away
And ain’t nobody warn you how much you’ll regret foolin around one day
You’ll look back and wish you’d gotten your priorities straight
And when you’re low ain’t no one have interest in seein you succeed but your family
I know I cause my mama stress but I can’t seem to shake this shit
I been in this state for as long as I can remember
And its sad how long I’ve told myself I wasn’t gonna make it
How many times cried over the same lecture
I guess you give in to the image you made for your self; failure, defeat and disappointment.
And I guess thats all I gave her and I guess that’s why I’m here today writin this while I should be concentratin on otha shit
And it ain’t help that love wasn’t happenin for me
Always cared too much bout what others said about me
Always felt like I needed to have money and stay out with people that aint even my age but I never said no
I used to think ill just go with the flow it’ll work out someday
Put my fate in someone else’s hands it seems but its always been me movin the strings
And everyone I turned to told me the same shit
“You’re lazy and you don’t want it for yourself. You’ll never get nowhere you ain’t helpin yourself.”
Maybe that’s why I am the way I am today
So much anger in my heart
So much shame in her eyes
And mama it ain’t your fault I ain’t ever wanna focus
But ain’t no one more sorry than I am for being stuck where I am today wonderin if I’m even graduatin
And I’m afraid I’ll go to hell for threatenin to take my own life again
I think its crazy how much I’ve held myself back
I think its crazy how much motivation I lack
I think its crazy how much I’m still waitin still wishin for my skull to crack
I’m told you’re such a waste of potential such a waste a good brain
It’s crazy ain’t it? How you don’t even notice that the only person you hate is yourself for condemning this shitty life upon yourself
It’s crazy how much you hate yourself…

It’s hard to accept, but you can’t change the past. You can’t go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life’d be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But you can change the future and that’s a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days - but as long as you let the past go, you’ll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. So grab hold of it.

It’s hard to accept, but you can’t change the past. You can’t go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life’d be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But you can change the future and that’s a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days - but as long as you let the past go, you’ll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. So grab hold of it.

(Source: secretlyloved)

I mean, look I don’t know if anything is going to happen with us,again. Ever. But I don’t want to know that it never could.

I mean, look I don’t know if anything is going to happen with us,
again. Ever. But I don’t want to know that it never could.

secretlyloved: There it goes again. That heavy feeling in your chest when you don’t feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to connect to anyone or anything.

secretlyloved:

There it goes again. That heavy feeling in your chest when you don’t feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to connect to anyone or anything.